So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
