i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
