We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
