So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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