Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
