is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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