I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You work out of a Hotel?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
