i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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