So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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