The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
