he puts the penis in happiness.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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