U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
