I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
