Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
