a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
