Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
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You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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