brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
