At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
