i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
