Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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