i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
