party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
