omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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