yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
