the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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