the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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