Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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