i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
