This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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