Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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