She announced her abortion via fbk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize