Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
