How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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