Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
people are starting to question the shark bite story
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
