Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize