you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize