theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
