It's like God shit irony all over that family
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
