I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
