No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
