Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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