what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
