my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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