Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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