his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
