So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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