The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
