I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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