So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
