How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
