i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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