first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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