a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
