I wish life had little blips of pornography
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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