I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
be right there i have to get my cape
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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