I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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