i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
