either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
