Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
