I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
