Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
