Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
