Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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