Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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