all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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